


Soul Deep

by snowprincess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awakening, Feels, First Time, Light Angst, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revelations, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-14 01:55:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11773059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowprincess/pseuds/snowprincess
Summary: What would have happened if Ezekiel/Gadreel had not answered Dean's call or if Castiel had not had his grace taken away by Metatron?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains some consent issues and light angst. None of the characters are evil, but have to make tough decisions in desperate circumstances.  
> This work is definitely a little bit 'what if' mixed with AU.

Sam was hurt and the look of betrayal broke his brother’s heart. Dean’s eyes slid guiltily away from his brother’s prone form on the bed. Sam was struggling, tugging weakly at his bonds.

“Dean, please… The trials… almost complete… Why?"

The younger Winchester’s eyes closed for a moment as if it hurt to think of what his next words should be. He was breathless with the effort it took to raise his head. Mercifully he flopped back down on the mattress, appearing to be asleep for the moment.

Castiel hovered in the doorway, and taking in the pained expression on his friend’s face, sighed deeply.

“Are you sure that you want this to be the course of action?”

With a dark look, Dean walked over to the far side of the room and took a seat at a small desk. The silence stretched on for endless moments.  
“What else is there? Huh, Cas?! Damned if we do or if we don’t? Always the same! What do you do when all that’s left are crappy choices? You choose the least crappy, that’s what! He’s my brother and we’ll add this to the growing list of crazy stuff we’ve done to save each other.”

Dean only noticed the angel when he was beside him, a hand laid on his shoulder in silent support.  
Inhaling sharply, Dean rose from the chair. “Okay, well, let’s do this before I lose my nerve. You do realize that if he remembers any of this, he’s going to have one more reason to hate me.”

“Dean, we have to trust that he knows on some level that this was the only option.” 

The angel silently crossed the bedroom, stopping next to Sam. Inspecting him closely, he lightly stroked his hair.

“Sam, can you hear me? Do you understand what is about to happen?”

Sam’s eyes fluttered open for a moment as he attempted to roll over. A painful sound that was half gasp, half laugh escaped from the younger Winchester.

“How is being boned by an angel going to change anything? I’m… dying.”, Sam said quietly.

Sam looked exhausted. He had been running a high fever for days and in desperation Dean had forced him into a bath filled with ice cubes. It was always a temporary measure because Sam’s fever would inevitably rear its unwelcome head again within hours. When Sam’s reprieve became shorter and shorter, Dean realized that he was out of his depth and called on his angelic companion.

 

\-------

 

He looked on as Castiel leaned down further and whispered. “It is the only way to achieve the type of soul deep connection necessary for this to truly work. Human vessels are limited in this way. I am sorry Sam.”

Castiel stood to one side and began to methodically remove his clothing. First the tie and slowly the rest followed until he stood naked and proud beside the bed. Dean felt suddenly shy and couldn’t meet his eyes as the angel regarded him expectantly.

On the bed, Sam who was already without a shirt, moaned quietly. 

“When’s the last time you slept… had a shower? Maybe…”

“I’m staying”, Dean interrupted.

“I believe it’s best if you are the one to remove the remainder of his clothes, Dean.”

With a brief nod, Dean knelt on the bed and started to strip his brother of jeans and socks. “I know this is the only way, Cass, but it’s also all kinds of wrong. I’m pimping my kid brother out to an angel. No offense. “

Castiel merely frowned.

Dean stopped short, his hands hovering above his brother’s buttocks. It was the last item of clothing – the final step before the point of no return.

“I will subdue him. It’ll make this easier, I think. Undo his bonds.”

Dean gave the angel a thoughtful look and then suddenly was all business again. He quickly removed Sam’s boxers, just as the angel touched Sam’s forehead. His brother seemed to go completely limp. 

“Don’t you hurt him!” This wasn’t as much a warning as it was a way for Dean to reassure himself.

 

\--------

 

Sam felt like he was floating. The room was dim and though his skin felt a little cold, his insides felt like they were on fire. Castiel’s grip on him was gentle as he moved Sam onto his side and pushed his thighs apart. Even in his current state, he felt mortified at being exposed and then touched in such an intimate place.   
The angel had wasted no time. Castiel’s fingers were lightly circling his rim and then one carefully pushed in. He flinched slightly at the intrusion, but the finger was slick, so it didn’t hurt. Castiel worked his finger in and out of Sam’s body. Sam decided that he definitely didn’t like this strange sensation, but soon there was more of a stretch when a second finger found its way into him.

He had never had anything inside him like this and when a third finger began to nudge at him, he tried to move away from it and groaned in protest. Castiel held him down easily. A third finger pushed inside and the burn of it made him wince.  
Being worked open up like this wasn’t the best feeling, but something was happening as his body adapted. Wanting to give Sam some relief, Castiel swiped a careful finger over the nub inside him, causing a pleasant jolt. All too soon the fingers were gone, leaving the younger Winchester feeling used and annoyed.

Sam could hear Castiel slicking himself up behind him. He had a brief moment of sheer panic when he felt the head of the angel’s cock pushing at his hole. There was no way that Castiel was going to fit.  
The first thrust was small, but it was the worst. The searing pain left Sam gasping. Castiel’s cock was much larger than fingers. Miraculously, the head popped in and Sam instinctively tried to clench. Castiel was soothing him with soft words that he couldn’t understand. The next moment there was a smooth inward slide until the angel’s member was all the way inside him. 

Sam was joined to the angel. He felt strangely full and uncoordinated, like wading through waist high water. As if reading his thoughts, the angel spoke. “Shh Sam. I’ve limited your ability to move. I don’t want you injuring yourself, so please try to stay still.”  
Castiel pushed and Sam found himself halfway on his belly. The heat at his back made him feel safe and he could feel the cock inside him move each time the angel shifted.

 

“You’re inside me and you expect me to not at least resist?!”

 

Words deserted him as Castiel pulled almost all the way out and thrust into him with a grunt. Sam didn’t believe that he would come with a cock inside him and antagonistically decided to relax completely. If he couldn’t stop what was happening, he certainly was not going to help.   
He was contentedly bubbling along on a little cloud, when he felt a not unpleasant heat building inside him. It was very subtle at first, almost like a phantom itch. The constant movement inside was causing his body to respond in an unfamiliar way.

 

“Cass, what’s happening to me?” Sam was surprised by how breathless he sounded. 

 

“Your fever is breaking.” came the reply. Not the answer he was expecting, but Castiel sounded winded and Sam was pleased that the angel wasn’t unaffected. He became aware of movement on the far side of the room and realized that his brother had been present the entire time. Struggling to turn, he saw his big brother averting his gaze.

He couldn't tell if it was he or Castiel who was putting out all that heat, but his entire being was aflame, burning from the inside. He tried to call out, but couldn’t catch a breath. Within an instant, the room that had been cast in shadow by the low light had turned red and then a blazing white as Sam felt something inside him erupt. He was distantly aware of Castiel thrusting deep and even, holding him in place throughout it all. He was falling and as he came down, the Angel was there. He finally relaxed into Castiel’s hold.

Suddenly he was overcome by a wave of dizziness and smiled weakly as his brother’s features swam into view, mere seconds before his world was plunged into darkness.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's rapid recovery worries Dean and Castiel receives assistance from an unlikely source.

Sam remained unconscious throughout that day and the next. Dean stayed by his side, ever watchful. Surprisingly, the angel didn’t leave the bunker and watched over both brothers. 

Castiel was in the kitchen, looking through cupboards for something that would inspire Dean to eat, when he heard him calling out to him.

The angel brought soup for two in the hopes that Sam might be hungry. 

“He moved. I think he’s waking up.” Dean’s tone was flat, but the look of apprehension was unmistakable.  
Sam woke up slowly, blinking in the dimly lit room. He coughed a few times, so Dean helped him into a semi sitting position, bringing a glass of water to his lips.

“How long was I out for?” Sam’s voice sounded rusty when he spoke.

“Couple of days. How are you feeling?” Dean’s tone was careful as his eyes darted to where Castiel stood.

“Well, I don’t feel like I’m going to melt, so I’m good, I guess.”

Dean looked relieved at the words, but it was short lived. 

“I remember everything guys. I mean, my ass hurts like a sonofabitch and you two look guilty as all hell. You can both come back from your guilt trip already. I’m not going to lie and say I was okay with all this, but if there was another way, you both would have found it. We all have to find a way to get past this. The tension in here is just a little much.” 

Within another day, Sam was up and walking around. He had found a case in record time and was already in the process of packing his duffel bag.

“You sure you’re ready? You haven’t been eating much. Why don’t we sit this one out? There are other hunters who can take this job. Give it a week or two?”

“Dean, I’m fine. It’s a kitsune. If I can’t handle this then I don’t deserve to be a hunter. It’ll be a quick and straightforward job” came impatient the reply.

Dean was concerned about his brother’s emotional and physical state, but there was no changing his mind. Since the brothers were returning to hunting, Castiel had taken this as his cue to continue his search for his lost brothers and sisters.

The job turned out to anything but run of the mill. Their monster was elusive and on a rather rampant killing spree.

On their third evening in Middletown, the brothers had tracked the kitsune to an area where high school students were about to go on hay ride. Dean chased after it while Sam cornered it in a nearby barn.

Dean being confident that Sam could handle it on his own, wasn’t in a huge rush to get to the barn. When he eventually did get there, it was to the kitsune standing over Sam. 

“Hey! Get away from him!” Dean rushed forward as the kitsune stepped away.

“Damned nuisance hunters! Wouldn’t touch that one anyway. No good. What’s wrong with him? You, on the other hand…”  
The kitsune lunged, and Dean who already had his knife drawn, held it out in front of him, leaving the kitsune to impale itself.

When Dean reached his brother’s side, he understood what the kitsune meant. Sam’s breathing was ragged and he seemed to be having a relapse.

“Dammit Sammy! Come on. Let’s go home.” Dean half carried his younger brother towards their car and started the long drive home.  
He called Castiel from the car and on getting no answer, left a voicemail.

 

Three towns over, Castiel was sitting on the hood of his car staring at his phone after having listened to Dean’s message.

“What’s to be done about Sam?” he asked no one in particular.

It was then that Gabriel appeared at the roadside in full Greek dress. On noticing Castiel’s frown, favored him with a sour look.

“Well you’re the one who called me away from my banquet. You can’t afford to be confused. Lucky for you, I have nothing better to do than to occasionally torture those bumbling brothers.”

“I don’t…” Castiel faltered.

“The phone call.” With a dramatic eyeroll, Gabriel inclined his head towards the phone that rested on the hood next to Castiel.  
“Look, Cass. I can give you advice, but you need to fix this one yourself.”

Gabriel started pacing, making Castiel feel as though he was watching a tennis match.

“Cass, Cass, Cass. What were you thinking that you could help little Winchester with one ‘treatment’? How arrogant are you really? Think about it. How long did it take for the boy to get into his current state? Meanwhile you and his brother saw what was happening to him and did nothing. You focused on the mission. You two really are not very smart.”

“What must be done to save him?”

“Why is this so hard for you to grasp? There’s no quick fix. Curing him is going to take at least as long as it took to break him, but that isn’t all. Both you and Sam seem to have very little humanity between the two of you. You have no real experience of it and he… well … first no soul and now the trials. It’ll be a hard road back.”

Gabriel ceased his pacing and stared at the other angel head to one side. 

“Sam will be fine if you both work at this and really get to know each other. Good luck brother.”

Castiel remained by the side of the dark road for a while after Gabriel left. He began to realize that the uneasy feeling he had, was apprehension. Up to this point he had not had to deal with emotions. The Winchesters were relying on him to help them and he had never been in this type of situation. He followed orders, but he was expected to lead and he had no idea where to begin.


End file.
